Tongan Journals From Kristena's June 2008 Trip
June 12th
I arrived yesterday in Tonga 8:15 in the morning after a 12 - hour flight, I couldn't sleep due to the anticipation of the bitter sweetness of returning to this Kingdom. I had no idea of what to expect. I knew only that someone from Komotos family would be waiting for me. Komoto, his wife and their six daughters were Tessa's first host family when she arrived in Tonga. I was to see Prince Topou Toa' and Princess Nanassi. I talked about sustainability and making the village an example through utilizing water catchment, a community garden and wind power. The Crown Prince was very enthused about all the ideas and this will be a feather in Prince Ulukalala's cap if the organization of possibilities goes as planned. The Independence Wind Project, which Charlie Gandy has in hand is timed perfectly due to their dependence on diesel fuel and generators.
Everyone who knew Tessa asks about her siblings and friends. I fit right in here and the legend of Tessa lives with strength like at home with the Garden Project.
The film crew arrives tomorrow night and Komoto has been instructed by the Princess to alert customs so they have no difficulty going through the customs logistics. This was very thoughtful of HRH.
June 13th
The Palace is being renovated for the New Kings coronation in August. Komoto and Voni took me over to see what was happening on the grounds. The process was lengthy even though I was with the Talking Chief: we still had to go through two offices to get permission to enter the palace grounds. We finally sat before this fascinating man named Albert Vaea. He spoke beautiful English with this rich accent sounding Australian. He is Tongan. He wanted to talk about Tessa's death. He said how sorry he was and explained that the time Tessa was killed there happened to be a “noticeable difference in the whale activity. " The whales usually bring their calves into the bay where Tessa was swimming so the calves can feed, rest and be close to the surface for air as they approach New Zealand. Swimming is not a recreational past time for Tongans so the shark may have mistaken Tessa for a baby whale. Tears rolled down my face as he spoke and I marveled at how he kept talking... he thought I should know something more or know that many of the people had thought long and hard about the loss of this person Tessa who had such good intentions for their country.
The Discovery people come late this afternoon so they will add a different spin. We will go to church with the family tomorrow and have a meal with them. The cameraman and interviewer will shoot the family and in the afternoon we will go to see the Crown Prince Topou' loa and the Princess. Such a trip I have not had, the capital city getting "COMFORTABLE WITH UNCERTAINTY"
June 14th
I barely sleep six hours a night because the impressions left from each day are so immense. Yesterday we spent the day with Komotos family. Voni came for us late and of course perfectly timed. We dropped Dave and Drew (the crew for Discovery) at the church so they could set up their equipment. We are in Ahau, Komoto's village. Voni and I went to alert the minister and his assistant of their arrival. Dave and Drew were going shoot footage of the church service and the people of the village as they approached their house of worship, learning and socialization. I sat up in the front on the side bench where the Komoto sits on one side and the elders such as Komotos mother sit on the other. It is a place of honor, Komoto insisted I sing with him and the other women as he used is large fingers to point to the Tongan words and insisted on pronunciation by utilizing his strong voice. Dave the cameraman told me as he filmed individuals he felt like weeping. The girls made a Tongan feast including the deviled eggs and potato salad Tessa had taught them to make. Then it was time to begin my interview which we did in front of Komotos house with the children in the background. At 3 o'clock we scurried to The Crown Prince Topoa Loa and that went well. I have to get dressed and ready because we leave for Va'vau at eight and it’s an hour drive to the airport.
June 15th
Vaasi tells me that Ta’tafu has left the village and gone to Nuku’alofa to get his birth certificate. I am surprised as well as disappointed. Ta’tafu’s disappearance is truly a mystery to me as well. The van is moving in slow motion as we pass Tessa’s house and suddenly we are in the schoolyard. Soon the town officer, Heamasi, arrives with his wife Alama and they seem very happy to see me. In my mind and heart I am many places, the village, the schoolyard, inside of Tessa’ house, the memories from before, the fragrance of this place. I have too much going on, and then I see the cameraman out of the corner of my eye and remember why I’m here. Vaasi diverts my attention to the road outside the schoolyard where I see this beautiful face of a young boy holding a tall, metal staff and a machete. I recall his face from pictures on Tessa’s camera. This boy is A’tiata and he lived next door to Tessa. Vaasi makes direct eye contact with me and explains that A’tiata was on the end of the wharf when Ta’tafu screamed for help. His eyes are twice the size of mine and he’s trying to absorb the wetness of his tears back into the dryness of his own body as an act of stability for me. Vaasi is beside me and then before I know it, A’tiata is in front of the camera with Vaasi interpreting.
As we drive out of the village I am weary, thankful, appreciative of the sharing, and aware that perhaps if Ta’tafu has been there I may not have shared this intimacy with the others who were involved in Tessa’s rescue. The brightly colored clothes hanging from the lines imprint like a photograph and the visual stays with me for minutes after.
June 16th
The roosters holler at 5:30 in a fan of melodious calls… sounding like messages, warning calls of exuberance or territorial recitals.
The crushing of memories and the unraveling of what really transpired o the day Tessa died seems to be the focal point. Our family has looked to and given Ta’tafu the responsibility of glory for trying to save Tessa. He did take the initiative, he saw the shark, he heard her scream for him and he witnessed the sudden change of color in the water to red blood. Ta’tafu creamed to the others and one in particular: a boy named Atiata who was on the wharf. Atiata’s father, Apolosi, was on the beach with his canoe preparing to go out with his net for fishing. He quickly propelled himself forward into the water, taking the canoe more quickly than eve he had previously in his lifetime towards Ta’tafu. This day as father and son shared the story, their emotions were raw and surfacing. I was right there in the village, on the edge of the water where Tessa had died, listening, trying to take in the details. The melancholy crept up on the surface of my skin like stickers. The village of Tu’anuku will never deny or forget her existence and they have helped me to recover the details of her story. These people who had tried to save her life and had truly cared for her realized that she has transformed them significantly in such a short time. As difficult as it was to go through this process, as the end of those days together we had become accustomed to speaking of her death as it is now apart of her life. None of us will get over loosing her; we are just walking through it.
As we motored away in the fishing boat I stared at the pristine island where my daughter had become part of the oral tradition, the folklore of Tonga. I knew a piece of me was missing as I left that island, and indeed it is true. There’s a huge chunk of my heart bandaged, as if I was leaving my daughter behind. I have such love and respect for a people I am certainly getting to know. We all hold Tessa in common.
The Family's First Trip to Tonga
The family of Tessa Marie Horan left for Tonga at the end of October 2006. The purpose for the journey - to complete a project Tessa had conceptualized days before her death. She wanted to create a library for the school where she worked as a teacher, in the village of Tu’anuku on the island of Vava’u. The vision has now become a reality. Tessa’s parents, sister Jasmine, godmother Peggy McDowell and boyfriend Scott Jones spent nearly two weeks in Tonga to retrace Tessa’s life while serving as a Peace Corps volunteer. The journey was one of great expectations for Tessa’s family of origin, her Peace Corps colleagues, and all the Tongan people who have established deep connections with her. We shared a ritual and reunion of remembrance and healing. Tessa has become part of the history of this country. The impressions, service work and bonds she established with her colleagues and friends and the Tongan people will never be forgotten.
The time spent with those she trained with was rewarding and sensitive. The relationships developed amongst this group were ones of life-long connection. Tessa was the thread who kept them looped while she was alive, and now, even in her death, she continues to set an example. This represents the change we all want in the world. Scott Ralston, 36, from Group 70, has served in the Peace Corps three times. He told me in his life he has never had a friend like Tessa or known anyone like her. Everyone in her group felt this way. There are only eight people still residing in the Tongan Island Group out of fourteen original volunteers. In January 2007 there will be six. They have left with disappointments in regard to Tessa’s passing and other discouraging factors.
The accomplishments completed in Tonga were realized in a very short time. The library was completed, stocked with books, art supplies, and a computer. We were able to meet and visit with Tatafu, the youth who tried to save Tessa’s life. We were able to see her small house, go to church, meet her friends and the villagers, feast with them and give appropriate gifts to those who were closest to her.
We shared some of Tessa’s ashes with the Mother Ocean where she met the shark that took her life. Robert Bass, the owner of the Hilltop Hotel where we stayed, took us to the spot on his sailboat – “Cyber.” His family participated wholeheartedly in the ritual with compassion. We share ironic, odd coincidences: Robert’s brother died in 1988. He was a NOLS instructor, as was Tessa. This man, as well as Robert’s nephew Justin, happened to share Tessa’s birthday: March 20th – the first day of spring. Destiny and a collective heart remain a mystery.
The memorial fund has also chosen to assist in completing a volunteer information center in Katmandu, Nepal. Tessa spent time in this area trekking after graduating high school. The center will be located in an existing building providing a place to email, communicate and be advised with specific information on ways to help and service people in need in this area. |
Tessa with Group 70, 2006
Peace Corps Office, Vava'u
Tessa's Friends' Tonga Plaque
Memorial Library, Tu'anuku
Inside Library
Children at Tessa's school
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